ranting it up, Uncategorized

who’s hard of learning?

Monday is almost over and I’ve still got Mr. Anxious following me around.  What do I got on the brain? Bills. Fat. Bills. Fat. Yep, that’s pretty much it.  Pathetic right? Transparency is all the rage right? What if transparency makes you feel fat? Is that even a thing? Oh and if that wasn’t enough, how do I convince myself that I am not too old to still succeed in where I find my passion? Am I too late.  Did my time of making it expire? My mind tells me Hell No!  But my insides are cringing at the thought of being exposed as a old lady trying to be young.  An old lady trying to make it. A woman who wasted her life trying to hide suddenly wants to be known. Why now? It’s not a matter of why now, but a question of why not then? To that I have no answer.  The real truth is that the struggle is eating me alive.  Books, podcasts, motivational figures yelling out to to me that I can do whatever I want, that it’s possible. Who’s hard of learning? This girl, or should I say this old lady is.

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it doesn't have to rhyme, Uncategorized, Word Stories

apple

She was deep in sleep
as if she had taken a bite of that apple
you know the one i’m talking about
the one that the darkness lured her with
like the glitter and gold
the newer and better
all that shines
so bright it blinds
our perfectly working eyes
to follow it closely
the fragrance
the smell
that disguises the hell
it leads us to
the slaughter
we can’t refuse
but we don’t have to
there’s one who takes our place
at the front of the line
standing face to face
with our hell
to let us go free
her eyes open slowly
then grow big and wide
she looks down at that apple
and tosses it aside.

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it doesn't have to rhyme

three

i see three
three pieces of me
three heavens on earth
three gifted to me

words aren’t enough
i cannot hold any tighter
to the three that i see
the three gifted to me

not enough time
enough time to breath in
my heaven times three
the three gifted to me

gazes met with smiles
embraces held a second longer
holding on to my three
the three gifted to me

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Uncategorized, Word Stories

transform

The haze was thick.  But the sunlight created a yellow glow all around.  She wasn’t quite sure what she was looking for except that the messenger had said she needed to go to Black Hills Forest.  Stories told about this place were both filled with horror and miracles, but she always resolved that they were just stories with no truth to them.  Walking through the ancient trees her mind wandered to when they first met.  They both had reached for the same Starbucks coffee cup.  Sheepishly he pulled his hand away when he realized it wasn’t his order and apologized.  Not thinking anything of it she winked and walked away.  Snapping out of her memory she soon realized the forest had transformed into the coffee shop her mind had just wandered to.

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Word Stories

blank space

“Ms. Evergreen? Ms. Evergreen? Can you hear me?”, asked a calm voice. As much as I wanted to answer, I wasn’t going to. I just didn’t care enough to. I didn’t ask to be here. No one asked me then, so I am not answering now. I know, sounds childish, immature. They don’t know what I go through. Everyone wants to act like they have answers for me, like they can help me. Lots of advice. All I hear is noise, chatter, static. Whatever, I will just let them keep on talking, but until they are ready to listen, I mean really listen, I will keep up the act, the façade of a woman who is not here, but far away in her own blank space.

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it doesn't have to rhyme, Uncategorized, Word Stories

reckless

reckless, that ain’t me
at least that’s what i think
always thinking, planning,
trying to be ready
for the catastrophe
the one that dwells in my head, so heavy,
the one he uses to try and make me sink
down to the abyss of darkness
where he has dug up a hole
six feet under ground
lined with comfort
so that it calls out to me
to come and lay down
thats when he’ll shovel all those lies,
burying me alive,
trying to squeeze out my hope,
that crazy hope that only comes from light
but you see light beats out the dark,
so i guess he didn’t think it through
look again fool, that hole’s made for you.

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