ranting it up

breathe…

by: Michelle Street

This may be self-imposed and maybe its society’s obsession with beauty that makes it hard to fight, but I’d like to stop for just a moment and ask, “Who the hell said women had to do all this stuff in to feel beautiful!??” I am all for looking my best and for women loving who they are and being their best at any age, any size and any stage in life. I can’t imagine that men go through even half of this nonsense. Yes, somehow, I think they are the ones who have set the rules. And we just idly stand by and comply.

They don’t’ have to lay on the bed to squeeze the last little bit of their muffin top into their jeans, they don’t wear ½ size too small shoes that crush their pinky toes or sleep with Dr. Fix Your Face’s concrete mask all night. Nipples peeping through a t-shirt when choosing an outfit is never a legitimate wardrobe consideration nor is wearing shorts long enough to cover the varicose veins and cottage cheese. And, when was the last time you heard a guy complain about nicking his bikini line while shaving? Seriously, whose ridiculous ideas are these anyway? These were men’s ideas, cause NO woman I know in her right mind would come up with this. Well sistas, today I’m feeling sort of ornery. And to be honest, I can’t effing breathe in my jeans.

Nah, fellas. I think today I’ll call it quits for the day. I think I’ll sport my muffin top, let my nips run free and do what they do, and if the cottage cheese bothers you, stop looking at my ass!

Ahh .. finally. I can breathe.

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